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Flashback: Debauchery

March 17, 2010

Ahhhh St. Patrick’s Day.  This is ALSO my sorority’s Founder’s Day, so long story short, double whammy on the partying.

Warning: This story I’m about to tell you is not flattering at all.  Neither are the pictures.

My freshman year of college, my first real-life encounter with St Pat’s, I had a mystery bacterial infection raging in my throat and I was bedridden for the entire weekend.  Even my social recluse I-don’t-drink roommate developed an Irish spirit and came back raging drunk after two beers and soaked in the third.

It wasn’t until junior year of college that I claimed a (really) memorable St Patrick’s Day story.  This was the semester I’d insisted on taking several three hour classes late at night (6-9:30 pm), and it often left me with a laaaarge break in between.  It was one of these classes where the professor happened to schedule a tiny little thing called a midterm on March 17.

During my break on this one fateful day, my boyfriend “talked” me into heading over to a friend’s house, where there was guaranteed to be a keg and video games.  So while he got his Grand Theft Auto on, I did a little something that looks like this:

All afternoon.

And yes, these pictures are actual documentation, not a representation.

this picture is so classy. and classic.

At some point, I managed to spill beer all over myself and was handed a pair of sweatpants to wear while my pants dried.  Mind you, the friend who’s house we were at is a 6’7 hockey player, and I am 5’2.  It was his sweatpants I was wearing.

Imagine my shock, when not so soon after, I was reminded I had a MIDTERM in fifteen minutes!

My pants were still soaked in beer, so I grabbed my things and ran to campus wearing my friend’s XXL sweatpants and reeking of grain alcohol.  Yep.  Classy classy move.

When I got to campus, my heart was pounding, part from running, part from drankin’, part from knowing I was NOT going to pass this midterm.

So what did I do?

I hightailed it to the caf, pulled out my laptop, and withdrew from the class. Yes, during the midterm.

Then I went back to my friend’s house and kept drinking.

This story is slightly infamous in my circle of friends.  Yes, everybody thought it was awesome.

This story is a classic example of MY LIFE AS A SORORITY PRESIDENT.

This story is TOTALLY NOT my life anymore!

But this story is still one of my favorites!

No, honestly, I do not regret dropping the class or missing the test because I was drunk.  I’d never done anything like that before and I’ve never done anything like that since.  I mean, I’ve withdrawn from classes, but not because I was too drunk to take the midterm.

Hi Mom!  I hope I make you proud!

(My mom doesn’t read my blog, I’m just kidding).

So, now you know, I used to be a drunken sorority girl.  Sometimes, but with increasingly less frequency, I can still be.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  Luck of the Irish be with ya’ll, drink green things, and I’ll see you later!

Do you have a tale of St Patrick’s Day debauchery you’re willing to share? Gritty details here people!

PS – Counteract the negative effects of alcohol and get some superfoods in your diet.  Click here to find out how to win beveri Golden Flax Seeds from Caitlin!!  Also, click here to find out how to win some amazing-looking Wholesome Foods granola bars from Heather!

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. March 17, 2010 10:36 am

    No class withdrawals here but I did have one helluva freshman year that i would give a kidney to relive. it was that awesome. and i have TONS of pictures to relive those moments.

    my one embarassing moment was after a night of some serious imbibing I passed out on my bed, which was was right in front of a floor to ceiling window. our apartment was at the bottom of the hill with the parking lot right above it. i woke up because something bright was shining in my eye. my cousins were wide awake talking and I drunkenly said to them, “will you please turn that light off or go to the parking lot and smash their headlights?” they were all WTF is she talking about and so I repeated it and they were all “DUMMY THATS THE SUN!”

    classy.

  2. March 17, 2010 11:07 am

    Haha, great story. I definitely took an essay final drunk once. It did not go well.

  3. March 17, 2010 11:13 am

    Oh my gosh, that’s probably the best St. Patty’s Day story I’ve ever heard! I’ve never had a “real” celebration for the holiday either, and it looks like I’m going to have to wait until next year! Hope today is just as memorable, if a little less crazy!!

  4. March 17, 2010 11:26 am

    I don’t think anyone can top that story!! How funny that you withdrew from your class…seriously I am still laughing right now.

    I was/am too straight-laced to have any St. Patty’s Day story or otherwise. That’s why I read other people’s blogs…my life is too boring!!

    • March 17, 2010 11:51 am

      Two years later and this story still cracks me up too! I still can’t believe I did that.

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