Are you surprised I’m getting hits on my blog from the search keyword “panties” after yesterday’s post?
My mom came unto the house today and commented, “Looks like the cleaning lady did a nice job.”
Guess what? I was the cleaning lady!!
Too bad my bedroom isn’t worthy of that same praise. This must be what it was like when Carrie and the girls packed up her life so she could move in with Big. Not that I’m packing up and moving anywhere. And I don’t have three fabulous ladies dressed in designer duds sitting on my bed sipping champagne and applauding as I strut down the catwalk of my hardwood floor.
Going through my closet is like going through a timeline of my life. I found a shirt that dates back to 1999.
How do I know it dates back to 1999? It was my 6th grade class t-shirt, and I was in 6th grade in 1999:
(this “look” is inspired by Beyonce in “Video Phone.” Does someone want to explain to me why she’s wearing a big t-shirt and nothing else?
Seriously, watch it, and tell me.)
I remember the origin of almost every single piece of clothing in my closet. I remember where it came from, why I got it, who gave it to me, where I wore it. For a very long time, I felt very attatched to these objects, as if they could somehow impact my life just by me keeping them.
But do I really need this pink tulle fairy princess floof dress I bought for fifteen bucks off a friend during my freshman year of college? It’s sat in my closet for five years and the only time I ever brought it out was to use as a prop in a scene for drama class. I do love this dress, I think it’s sweet and adorable, but I’ve had it for five years, I’ve never worn it, and it’s taking up precious hanger space rightfully owed to any of the number of pieces of clothing I do wear.
So, sorry pink dress, but into the donation bag you go. Should the occasion ever arise that I need a pink tulle dress, I will think of this moment with bittersweet regret as I find a new one. But I don’t think that day is coming any time soon. So, farewell, dear dress, may you encounter fresh and exciting adventures in your future beyond my closet.
On the other hand, consider this green velvet one-shoulder number.
This is my American Psycho dream dress.
It was gifted to me by my aunt from her wonderful and expansive collection of vintage clothing and accessories. It has never been worn (unless you count all the times I put it on “just to see how it fits” … but we’re not gonna talk about that right now) but I know the perfect moment for this dress will present itself. This is a stunning, unique piece of vintage from the eighties and it is worth keeping as a part of the permanent collection, to be treasured and worn rarely and passed on to the next deserving descendant. One day, my friend, we will rock the night together.
Basically, I’m going by this system: If I haven’t worn it in a long time (year or more) it’s gone. After that, if it doesn’t fit into the closet, it’s gone. There are exceptions to these rules: certain dresses and other unique items I know I will wear one day can stay. And if it doesn’t fit in the closet but it’s something I totally love, always wear, and will continue to wear, I can make room for it.
As for the 6th grade class t-shirt?
Well, sometimes it is worth it to keep something just because it makes you smile.
So what’s in your closet? What is the oldest thing you own? Do you have any pieces of clothing you couldn’t bear to be parted from? Is there anything you have that you’re saving for a really special moment? It’s show-and-tell, I want to know!
PS: Next time I decide to play dress-up, I’ll at least invite someone over to be my cameraman.
Updated to add: These are the shoes I wore in the above pictures-